patient: what are the chances of my recovery doc? doc: 100%. medical records show that 9 out of 10 people die of the disease you have. your's is the
10th case i've treated. The other 9 died.
teacher: can anybody give me an example of COINCIDENCE?
One student: ma'am, my mom and dad got married at the
same time and day.
teacher: george washington not only chopped down his fathers cherry tree, but
also admitted doing it. now do you know why his father didn't punish him?
one student: because george still had the axe in his hand.
teacher: sam do you say a prayer before
sam: no ma'am, my mom is a good cook.
What is green ,red goes 70 miles an hour, and makes you want to throw up?
A frog in a blender
What is green, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you?
A pool table
Mattie: How did you get that big swelling on your nose?
John: I bent down to smell a Brose.
Mattie:There's no "b" in rose.
John: There was in this one
What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it
won't come anyway.
What do you do with a no-legged dog? Take it for a drag.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
Why do apes have such big nostrils? They have very big fingers.
This is a letter a boy sent to his father from boarding school:
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my
$tuff, I $imply cannot think of anything I need,$o
if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$
I would love to hear from you.
His father's reply:
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNomics, and
oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt
forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.